


chanlix- I SEE

by lovleyoung



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Compliant, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Felix is a good boyfriend, Fluff and Angst, I’m bad at tagging sorry, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Mentioned Lee Minho | Lee Know, Mentioned Yang Jeongin | I.N, Trust Issues, Wholesome, chan is just insecure, not really - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-24
Updated: 2020-11-24
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:08:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24921310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovleyoung/pseuds/lovleyoung
Summary: "It's so hard, so God what should I do?"Chan's thoughts are consuming him to the point of him isolating himself in his studio, thinking that it'll help him since the others won't be able to witness him in such state. It only makes things worse, but he thanks any force out there that he has Felix by his side whenever things get hard between them.
Relationships: Bang Chan/Lee Felix
Comments: 4
Kudos: 87





	chanlix- I SEE

**Author's Note:**

> hello! this is my first fic so please bear with me. leave any suggestions! 
> 
> twt: l0vleyoung

"Finally", Chan exhales and stretches from his chair after successfully uploading his song on the official group's Youtube channel, his back cracking and him noticing his legs had fallen asleep due to the lack of movement in the many hours he's been sitting. He lets out a tired sigh and rubs his face with his hands. _I should probably head to the dorm,_ he thinks. He hasn’t been there lately since he’s been very busy at his studio, which isn't a total lie. All the members have been working hard on their upcoming comeback, various activities as idols, and Chan doing his best to connect more with the fans by doing Vlives, but it's also for another reason. A not so pleasant one.

You see, ever since Woojin had decided to leave the group and terminate his contract, he's been feeling out of place. Woojin had taken the comment way too personal and started a whole argument when there was no need for one. All that Chan had said is that the older needs to stop focusing on just himself and focus on what benefits the whole group. He didn't think that just one minor comment would end up leading to the two oldest members to start arguing to the point that they couldn't stand seeing each other in the eyes or insults and screams would be filling the dorms, and it had become an endless loop. It got so bad that Woojin started to sleep at hotels and secretly packed his stuff from his room, already having the idea in his mind. Jeongin was the one who told Chan about it, which ended up him literally begging Woojin to stay and not leave. What made matters worse was the words that Woojin had said to Chan, it really took a huge toll on his confidence that he was building up. 

"Bang Chan, you're the worst friend, worst Hyung, and most importantly, you're the worst leader there is. I thought _real_ leaders encourage their members, not bring them doing. Please, how can Felix be with you even thought you're a piece of shit that thinks they're perfect when you're not? Fucking pathetic', Woojin spat out these words and left the dorm just like that, in silence and while carrying suitcases of his belongings. 

All hell broke loose after that. Chan never thought that it would've lead to this, but you can't change what you've done. Woojin, the oldest member and a parent figure to the youngsters, has left, leaving Chan the responsibility as the now oldest member and Minho. Minho has tried his best, he really has, but it's not enough to Chan. And to top it all off, his mental health has been shit. Fear, hurt, loneliness. The only emotions surrounding his heart and mind. 

Probably because of what Woojin has said, but Chan started to distance himself from Felix. No, it doesn’t have to do with Felix himself (Chan is the definition of whipped when it comes to the younger boy) but there’s always a voice in his head saying, "He’ll leave you one day. He doesn’t love you. It’s all just an act. Just break it off before you end up hurt." _Damn, Stupid of me to be overthinking shit when I know that Felix loves me as much as I love him._

Probably that’s why he's been spending too much time and sleeping over at the studio, it's just a way to put some distance between them. He’s scared, no, terrified that what Woojin has said becomes true. He doesn’t think Felix will suspect, or so he prays he doesn't. After all, he’s always done it multiple times. But not for almost 2 weeks now. God, he really needs to start worrying about shit like this.

He looks at the clock from his laptop and sees how late it is. "I should probably head home now", he says. His thoughts get interrupted by his phone ringing, meaning he got a message. Chan has been also ignoring everyone’s messages latlely, which is very unlike him. He did text Minho to tell him that's he's doing fine and just needed to work on some stuff and the other will send updates of the dorms. Minho did question the older about his health but Chan just ignored him, not wanting to worry nay of the members. But now that he finished producing and uploading his song, it wouldn’t hurt to check.

He first checks the group chat and sees that everything was okay, just them talking about who's the member who can burp the loudest. _How the hell did I picked them, I might have been on drugs of some sort_. After checking that, he sees that Felix has been sending him messages since yesterday. Oh no, he didn't expect the younger to text him. And he never ignores his messages. "Chan, you had one fucking job", he groans out.

He hesitates on just calling him or just running to the dorms but ends up clicking on the messages.

Felix💕 Yesterday at 11:43 pm  


> Chan, are you still at the studio? You haven't checked any of the group chat's messages.

  


> Babe, when are you coming back? I miss you and you've been out for too long.

  


> Chan.

  


> Chris.

  


> Hyung.

  


> Please answer.

felix💕 Today at 10:28 pm  


> Hyung, we need to talk. It’s serious.

  


> Please come back to the dorm now.

  


“Ah shit,” Chan groans, now starting to feel guilty. 

You at 11:42 pm  


> I’m omw 

Chan grabs his hoodie from the couch, his phone, his earbuds, and his keys. He turns off his lights and quickly locks his studio, him putting on a face mask and starts to head towards the dorms. Wait for me Felix, I'm coming.

Chan quietly unlocks the door and looks around to see if any of them are awake. When he confirms there's no one, he steps in and shuts the door. He takes his shoes off at the entrance and heads towards his and Felix’s shared room. Huh, the lights are on.

When he enters the room, he's surprised to see the freckled boy still awake and sitting on the edge of their shared bed, facing the door and playing on his phone. He's wearing one of Chan's hoodies, his whole body drowning in the piece of clothing. His pretty orange hair is covered by the hoodie pulled up. The younger looks up from his phone and notices Chan at the door. He tosses his phone aside and stands up, walking towards the older. 

It kind of scares Chan at how Felix hasn't said anything. “Felix-“ Chan starts speaking but is quickly shut up by Felix pulling his shirt's collar, locking their lips together in a shared kiss.

Chan is surprised at first but regains himself and responds, wrapping his arms around the younger’s waist while Felix wraps his around Chan’s neck. Chan has missed this, the feeling of Felix lips against his own, his comforting scent, and just overall him.

They stay like this, enjoying each other's presence until Felix pulls away. Chan opens his eyes and sees tears on the boy’s face.

“shit, baby i’m so sorry,” chan wipes the tears, “please don’t cry” 

“chan, can you tell me what’s going on? you have been distant, everyone has noticed. you know i love you, right?” 

the older then realized how much it affected felix. he has dark circles under his eyes, his hair is all messy, and it seems he hasn’t been eating properly. chan pulls the other to the bed. they’re both now sitting on the bed, facing each other.

“felix, i’m really sorry. i-“ chan tries to come up with something but stops himself. well, here goes nothing, he thinks. “you see, ever since woojin, i’ve been feeling like shit.” he laughs bitterly. felix just sits there in silence. 

“it hurts, it still hurts, but i know i have to move on. i have to. for the sake of the other members and for both of us. i don’t want to be a bother to anyone. that’s why i started to be distant. i thought that it’ll help me. but, it didn’t. look, it’s hard. it’s so fucking hard. it’s hard faking being fine when i’m not. for god’s sake, i’m also human.” chan didn’t notice that he started to tear up. 

“i try. i really try. but i just can’t”, he hides his face in between his hands. he doesn’t want felix to see him like this. vulnerable. 

“chris, look at me”

chan does as told, and is pulled into a hug. that’s all it took for him to break. he clutched at the younger’s sweatshirt. while chan was crying, felix was running his fingers through the older’s hair and was singing to him.

once chan calmed down, felix gave him a quick kiss and stands up, pulling chan with him.

“thank you for telling me. i will always be there when you need someone. it’s not good to keep your emotions. just call or text me”, felix smiles as he caresses the other’s cheek. chan leans into his touch. he then grabs the boys hand and gives it a kiss on the knuckle.

“i honestly don’t know what i’ll do without you.” chan tells him. 

felix giggles at that. “c’mon. let’s take a shower”. he starts to grab some clothes for him and chan.

chan feels like a huge weight has been lifted of him. 

he’s not afraid anymore 

fin.

**Author's Note:**

> once again, feel free to leave suggestions and you can request any ship!


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